This blog is about one of the most absolute nerve-racking phases that I had to undergo if not, the most. Yet looking back at it, I feel that everything has fallen into place. Even though this period of time was accompanied with so much anxiety and worry, I am so thankful for it.
This picture was 10 days after we’ve arrived to New York, my mother was about seven months pregnant. This wasn’t our first time in the U.S, we’re used to constantly being there, we’ve stayed in Florida but majority of the time, we stayed in New York. However this time around, it was different. My father had traveled with us to New York and stayed for ten days and then he had to leave due to work duties back in Egypt. We knew this was coming, my mom knew that my father had to travel back home sometime during our stay in the U.S; we stayed for about two months and half and it would’ve been impossible for my father to stay all that time abroad without managing work. Prior to our arrival and even to the idea of my mother giving birth, my parents were contemplating whether to travel or stay home, and my sister would’ve been just another Egyptian in the family. But both my sister and I have pleaded for my mother that she should travel, “think of all the benefits you’re offering her,” I kept convincing my mother but the only reason she was stalling was because she had never travelled without my father before, at least not in the state she’s in. So many things could happen when we’re over there without our father, and this had definitely hindered my mother’s decision of travelling. My mind was racing, and after we dropped my father back to the airport to catch his flight to Cairo, sadness and worry has washed over me. During the period where my father was away, my mom had felt very ill, last time my mother had been pregnant was 12 years ago, she had felt estranged to the feeling of being pregnant and that has played a big factor in her illness. I used to cry one night after the other because I couldn’t bare watching my mother full of so much ache. She wouldn’t stop throwing up, she wouldn’t eat and her two feet couldn’t carry her. She would sob because of the pain she was enduring and also due to the fact that my father wasn’t around. I found it so brave of her that whenever my father would facetime us, she would put on her charming smile and muster all the courage to tell him “I’m okay”, but her voice would break in the midst of her speaking and my father knew her feelings said otherwise. There was this one time where my sister, my mother and I were having a stroll in the afternoon around our neighborhood; my sister and my mother were walking next to each other and I was walking a bit ahead of them but not too far because every now and then, I would glance over my shoulder to check on my mom. As we were walking all of a sudden I hear a scream, and I look back to find my mother on the ground lying on her back. She had tripped over an uneven piece of the sidewalk. I remember so vividly that I have dropped my phone and ran screaming and crying to my mother and there were a bunch of people around us who were assisting my mom. My sister and I were panicking and sobbing but once more, my mom tried to be brave for the both of us and kept saying she was okay. She had fell on her face but she hurriedly pushed her knees forward so that they can take the blow instead of her baby bump. Everyone around us kept saying that they’ll call 911 for her but she had turned down the idea plenty of times and told them that she would drive to the hospital. I couldn’t even believe myself, my mother stood on her feet with so much pain and I could just tell that even if she was hiding it, and drove to the hospital. During our drive she was trying to smile but tears flooded her eyes, she was so selfless and didn’t care what would happen to her, all she thought about was her baby. We arrived in the hospital and they took in my mom immediately to check on her and the baby, thankfully they were both fine and I finally took a sigh of relief. We had called my dad on our way out the hospital, and that mom is fine. I was ready to go home and sleep knowing that after everything that happened today, my mother is okay. Now, we were three out of five, my mother, my younger sister Haneen and myself. All we had to do was wait for my father to come back after 20 days and wait for the birth of my beautiful baby sister, and from there, the picture would be complete.
My father had arrived prior to the actual date he was supposed to be here. My mother drove us to the airport knowing that my father was coming but my sister and I had no idea. We thought her friend was coming over to stay with us for a while but unbeknownst to us, it was my father. This sense of warmth had washed over all of my family knowing that we’re all back together and now we were just anticipating the arrival of the little one.
Layan was the name I picked. I feel like my parents gave me the honor of choosing the baby’s name because I’ve always wanted a baby sister. This is the moment that has changed everything, it has changed me, my parents and my younger sister Haneen. It was also a moment filled with anxiousness especially for my parents because all these questions started flooding in; what school will she go to? Will we be able to give her the same exact life we gave for her sister? Will we provide for her the same way? And then came in the most heartbreaking question for me that my parents asked, will we live to watch her grow? After hearing my parents breakdown over this, I felt my heart shatter into pieces. I on the other hand, had my own questions to ask, will I be a good sister? Will I be responsible? Will she grow up to love me just as much as I’ve fell in love with her even months before she was born? My parents had came all the way from Egypt to the United Stated to be able to provide my sister a better future but there were so many questions at hand that worried them and me way too much. The day my sister was born my parents have not shut their eyes for a minute, they kept watching her all night long, admiring her beauty and how warm and fragile she is. I would look at them to find tears of joy running down their cheeks. At this moment I knew my parents decided to quit asking the questions and leave it on god to sort things out.
My baby sister broke the internet. I still consider Lilly (Layan) as my lucky charm, she has brought good luck for everyone in the family. This picture was taken and published by the Brooklyn Reporter which is a very well known news source in Brooklyn and possibly all of New York. My baby sister was born on January 1st, she was the first newborn baby in Brooklyn. After the clock hit 12, and people were out in Times Square on new year’s eve watching the ball drop, I was going to be one of those people who got to witness that but instead, I ended up in the hospital twenty five minutes away from Times Square watching the ball drop on television while my mother gave birth. Even though I didn’t get to witness the ball dropping and I was a bit upset, but my baby sister made it up to me by being the first newborn baby in 2016.
My mother stayed giving birth for hours and my sister and I weren’t allowed to be in the room with her, only my father was allowed the access. Therefore, we had to wait in the seating area outside her room while she was giving birth. My sister Haneen had fallen asleep, but meanwhile, the T.V in the waiting lounge had the Wizard of Oz on a loop. All I could remember was that I watched The Wizard of Oz around five times that day. I had never payed attention to the hidden message in the Wizard of Oz before, mainly because I was a child back then. I’ve realized that I feel so much like Dorothy Gale, I was anxious at first with the situation I was put in and I didn’t know what to do but, I had eventually eased into things and adapted better. I also truly felt the meaning of the phrase “There’s no place like home” Honestly I did miss Egypt a little bit but I wasn’t homesick. However, I realized that maybe if I was back home, things would’ve been different, my mother wouldn’t have been as stressed, we’d be surrounded by our family, and we wouldn’t feel estranged. Now every time I watch The Wizard of Oz, all I can think of is my baby sister and the overall encounter and it puts a smile on my face.
The day my mother had left the hospital, the weather was very gloomy; there was a storm and showers filling the city. As much as I love rain, I felt very blue. So we decided to drive the car for a while and then the storm and rain had stopped. We were luckily by the ocean so my father had parked the car and we all went down there. I distanced away from my family because I just wanted to walk by myself. I had stopped in this exact spot where the picture was taken, I shut my eyes and inhaled deeply smelling the ocean air and taking it all in. I looked to the side to find this beautiful, serene scenery; clouds come floating in, the shadow of the sun dancing behind them and light reflecting into the puddle of rain on the ground. I glance at my sister Haneen while she takes pictures of the breathtaking surroundings. Then I look back at my parents who holding my baby sister so close looking up at me and flashing me a smile simultaneously. At this moment, I felt all my anxiety and worry wash away with the rain, and my mind finally clear of all the distortions. This was the calm after the storm. At last, I can rejoice.
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